Filed under Gender

Double Helix Transformation

Science has affirmed what I know intuitively—genetic changes happen throughout our lifetime, can affect our behavior and are passed from one generation to another. In the last few decades, epigenetic research showed that epigenetic changes (molecular methyl groups attaching to our DNA) occurred during one’s lifetime.  In the middle of writing Big Topics at Midnight, … Continue reading

Grandmother Ann Takes the Lead

“I loved the idea of grandmother and granddaughter dancing together, plaiting beauty across the tears in the fabric of the world. Together we twirled, hoping beyond hope that our dance across the generations would serve those yet to come.”1 Ann Cahoon Mathys take the lead: Unlike some of my ancestors, I avoided epidemics, early widowhood, … Continue reading

Deep Diving

I come alive when diving right into the middle of topics my father told me to avoid—money, race, religion, gender and politics. Not interested in locking horns or intellectual analysis, I want partners who seek root-level transformation—from personal to global. I am captivated by sharing and listening to a wide variety of personal stories and … Continue reading

Risk Being Different

I spent last week supporting my daughter as she filed papers to end her five-year marriage. We stood solidly, side-by-side, without any hint of I-told-you-so—because of support I sought and received very early in their courtship. That support helped me to walk steady in our relationship despite the differences between what my daughter Laura wanted … Continue reading

What Do You Do? (Take 2)

I’ve always hated the question, “What do you do?” So rarely could I fit into the little boxes of traditional jobs that I feared were the only acceptable answers. And here I am in a month’s long quest to answer that very question for myself. At sixty, however, I am willing to create my own … Continue reading

Who Knows the Way? Women Do.

The message flows from all corners of the world: This is the moment in history when women need to lead the way. This clarion call isn’t for women-only leadership. Or the well-worn way of ruling from the top. “Social justice activists and diverse communities are re-imagining and redefining what leadership means and which faces are … Continue reading

My Cell Phone and Violence: #1

My cell phone. My Belgian roots. My membership in a Christian church. My wedding band. The genocide and massive use of rape and sexual torture in the Democratic Republic of Congo, Rwanda and Burundi are connected to these four things. The violence in that land is not a far off horror that has nothing to … Continue reading

What do you do? Take 1

I used to hate that question. I’ve rarely had a simple answer. Physical Therapist worked for a decade. Mother. Retreat Leader. Board Member. None of those sounded normal and solid enough to be a “real” answer. I could have said I was a novice spiritual revolutionary, but that never occurred to me in my younger … Continue reading

We Confess

I have ashes smeared on my forehead. They were placed there with the words, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” It is a good spiritual practice to live fully, whole-heartedly, remembering that we, along with everyone we love, will die. But that is not the main reason Ash Wednesday is … Continue reading

Reacting rather than Answering

Comedy is often based on quick jabs and rapid-fire remarks. Answering serious questions, however, takes a bit longer. An interviewer asked Jerry Seinfeld a question: why most of the guests on his Web TV series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee were white men. Seinfeld got pissed off and rushed headlong into deflecting the question. “Who … Continue reading